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Family Connection (and way too much to eat)

 It is Christmas day about 5:30 in the evening.  The table is cleared and the food put away and the last of our guests have wandered off for home.  It was a good Christmas – lots of connection with loved ones.  We were smart this year in that we had most of the Christmas dinner prepared in advance.  I had spent hours peeling apples and making crust the day before for the apple-blackberry pies.  Ellen had made the creamed spinach and mashed up the potatoes the day before.  While my pies baked, Ellen made her Risotto, Jello salad, and tapioca flour croutons for the Caesar salad.  This is good because we were able to take today in a relaxed fashion.
 
     First up, I was able to catch my son in Japan on Skype and chat for over an hour about everything and nothing.  I asked him if they had any traditions for Christmas in Japan.  He said yes, they all go to KFC and then afterwards eat cake.  He had no explanation for this odd behavior.  Cultural differences are interesting.  I was able to talk to my brother in the Portland, Oregon area.  He has been snowed in for the past week – a first for them.  They were wise and filled up their bathtub with water so they would have water for use.  They are on a well and when the power went out, so did the running water.  He has had to carry liquid water out to his chickens as their water has frozen solid.
 
     While I was putting the turkey into the oven my other son called and we chatted about his upcoming wedding plans and his Christmas visiting his soon to be in-laws.  As we were sitting down to eat with my mother and Ellen’s sister and niece (and her new boyfriend), my sister called to wish us a merry Christmas.  This to me is the real Christmas – connection.  There were only a couple things under the simple potted Christmas tree – without kids Christmas morning the whole present thing loses its importance.
 
     Years ago I wrote a little article about what I felt the deeper meaning of the holidays was all about.  I thought I would dust it off and share that today.
 

The Deeper Meaning of the Holidays

All northern cultures throughout history have observed some sort of community rituals this time of year as daytime reaches its shortest length.  This celestial event marks the yearly point in each individual’s life cycle when survival is most dependent upon community cohesiveness and support.  How well a community pulled together in the winter determined how many would survive to see the spring.  Winter was the test of how well an individual learned the number one lesson of life… the balance between individuality and community connection.
In the Christian dominated west we think of this time as Christmas. However the message of Christmas was celebrated tens of thousands of years before Christianity existed.  The images of Christmas are born right from the collective unconscious feelings that everyone shares about winter.  A savior born of a virgin describes as a picture the feeling of a bridge between the universal connectedness of the life force (God) and the individuality of a new birth.  It is the meeting of these two principles in that child that represents being saved.  Being saved means learning the lesson of balance.  This image was old before Christianity came on the scene and had been used by many earlier cultures.  It represents the felt needs of the people for connection at this time of the year.
Even the more recent tradition of giving presents flows from the deeper meaning of balance between individuality and community.  Presents represent the support from life you get when you participate in the various levels of community – family, tribe, culture, and society.  You give presents to demonstrate your individual contribution and support to the community, and you receive presents to demonstrate your willingness to receive support from your community.  This outflow and inflow balance is what generates and insures survival.  The individual who insists on standing alone and separate from community, dies in winter.
Times are easier now and winter is not the threat to our survival that it once was.  We find it easier now to separate from community (life) and still survive.  The balance has been lost, as we have overcome the power of the seasons to teach us about the fundamental lessons of life.  The arena of learning has had to switch to our physical health.  The battle for balance has been moved indoors to within our own bodies.  As our self-centered form of individuality grows, our tension with life increases.  Where tension lies, disease shortly follows.
The true spirit of the Holidays is not about getting our way or getting what we want.  The true spirit is about honoring our connection to life.  It is about rejoicing in our mutual dependence on each other as a reflection of our oneness in life.  The spirit of the Holidays is about connection to each other and to life.