In the last newsletter I was writing about joint instability being caused by conflicting desires. I discussed how our body automatically tenses up in anticipation of what is needed to stabilize the body as we are about to move into action. We are always in a postural state of preparedness for action based on what our current feelings are in any moment.
This preparedness is a wonderful thing most of the time. It keeps us from falling over our own feet every time we move into action. Our posture shifts as our feelings shift because how we feel determines what potential actions we subconsciously anticipate we might need to make moment to moment.
These shifting postures become a whole language we use to communicate with each other. I have read that only 7% of what is communicated between people comes from the actual words we use. The other 93% comes from postural body language, movement, and voice tone. All of this is generally subconscious and not under our control.
So what happens when all this constantly changing subconscious muscle tension tries to prepare for two different actions at the same time? We often have conflicted feelings about things. We can be both attracted and repelled by the same person, place, or thing. We can be attracted to turning left and right at the same moment. When these circumstances happen, our muscles get confused and end up working against each other causing muscle or joint strain. When this happens a lot, we end up seeing our chiropractor on a regular basis.
These “conflicts of direction” form the basis of the “mind / body” cause for disease. It is this breakdown in the otherwise smooth flowing of the “mind / body” interaction that has fascinated me for the last 40 years. Over that time a tremendous amount has scientifically been discovered that explains the neurological, biochemical, and even energetic mechanisms that come into play in the “mind / body” interactions. But little progress has been made on the essential nature of the inner conflicts that create the breakdowns and glitches in the proper functioning of the “mind / body” mechanism. Little has been done to teach us how to resolve these conflicts that make themselves known through ill health in our bodies. This is what I hope to do.
I mentioned last time about a series of transformational experiences I had back in the early nineties. I can’t really put them into words, as the language does not exist for these kinds of experiences. But a rough approximation would be as though you were to have been given an entire library of experience and information all in one moment with full understanding and use of that information. Then as the experience fades all that is left is just the vague outlines of the awareness and a library card to be able to go back at any time and study any book you wish. I have been going back to that “library” every day since to learn about why we are the way we are and why we do what we do.
The key piece I have held on to and studied since then I call the Puzzle of Life. It came in as the battle and balance between Differentiation and Integration. That sounds pretty esoteric and weird but it is really quite simple and something everyone experiences intimately. Differentiation is the drive we all have to be ourselves; to manifest our selves; to make our lives the way we want. Integration is the equally strong drive we have to connect and belong somewhere with others and life. The puzzle we are all here to solve is how to do both of these things at the same time. 99% of the time these two needs are directly opposed to each other – both internally and externally.
The fundamental problem is that we are all born seeing life from our own perspective. We are the center of our universe and seek to make everything from our center outward meet and match our needs and wants. The only way that can ever happen is if we are the only one in the universe. Each and every other person does not want things our way, but wants things their way with them at the center of things. The drive for integration with life means we have to participate, connect, and belong with a whole lot of people that do not see things our way and can never see things our way because our way involves us being in the central control position. So the puzzle becomes how do we become self and then connect that with non-self?
This is not just a casual perplexing problem. It is built right into our physiology. We can never escape it. Our left brain is geared toward focused self actualizing behaviors while our right brain is built for relating to large context integration of information. Our hind brain (reptilian brain) is built for self survival and the heck with anybody else while our mid brain is built for group survival through connection and cooperation…even at our own expense. This is the human condition; and it is built into our very bodies.
Sages and common folks throughout the ages have asked the basic question “What am I here for?” I believe that the answer is to learn how to Differentiate and Integrate simultaneously…how to successfully be ourselves while also belonging and participating in connection with life on all levels. It can be done but it is challenging. It requites the mental and emotional skills (what some call virtues) of a saint. I believe each of us is called to become a “saint”. But I also believe each of us is unique. We each have unique gifts we are to develop to bring to life to support the greater whole of life. So as “saints”, we are all designed to be very different from each other, and supporting life in different ways – our way.
Toward this end I have been developing an understanding of all the virtues and how they relate to each other. They are not random or individual, but comprise a natural flow of support and guidance for each other. The inner and outer conflicts that show up as ill health are just the signposts identifying where a virtuous skill needs to be learned. The pain and suffering in our lives is just feedback to us to help us learn how to solve the Puzzle of Life.